Friday, January 06, 2006

Love or arranged marriage???What would you prefer?

Whenever we talk of wedding we try to equate it with arrange marriages. In Asia the social structure is such that we associate marriages mainly with arrange marriages. Most of us have the feelings that arrange marriage is the concept of society. But history tells us that arranged marriages use to happen even in the Victorian age. The history of England tells us that most of the kings and queens had arranged marriages.

Love or arranged marriages is still a debatable topic in society isn’t it? People still debate on the issue, which one is better. What should be the basis of the marriage love or social norms? We are still confused about these issues. Education and media played a vital role in changing the perception of people’s mind. As people started thinking beyond the social customs and traditions of arranged marriages. They realized that they have the right to choose their life partner without any kind of social pressure. It is after all their life. They can decide without having to rely on parents, relatives and matchmakers. This change in the mental set up of the people gave birth to love marriages. Now people are open to love marriages. It is no more forbidden in the society. In our country we are having both love and arranged marriages. If we start comparing love and arranged marriages we will see that both has certain pros and cons. But the common factor in both the concept is physical attraction. When a man and a woman go out on their first date physical attraction is the deciding factor. Same in case of arranged marriage where the relation starts only after the girl or boy likes each other. But there are certain things, which are found in love marriages and not in arranged. Like spending time together and getting to know each other. Because when you have decided to spend the life together it is important you know the person. There should be metal compatibility and understanding among both of you. And this happens when you spend time together. On this people may argue that even after knowing each other for so long than why people get divorced after marriage. It is because when two people are in love they are at their best to impress each other. They behave, they talk and they wear what the other person likes. But it is after marriage that you get to know the real person. There are couples who are still discovering each other even after twenty years of their marriage. This is the actual beauty of a relationship where everyday you discover a new thing about your partner.So whether it is love or arranged ultimately it is up to the individual to decide, which one to go for. Love or arranged both is based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern. So it's not just about initial love and attraction it needs a lot of dedication and effort to sustain a marriage. So there is nothing like an ideal marriage it's all about the way you perceive your marriage. After all you should be happy with your life partner irrespective of love or arranged marriage rite?

Sooooooooooooo what are you views?Whenever we talk of wedding we try to equate it with arrange marriages. In Asia the social structure is such that we associate marriages mainly with arrange marriages. Most of us have the feelings that arrange marriage is the concept of society. But history tells us that arranged marriages use to happen even in the Victorian age. The history of England tells us that most of the kings and queens had arranged marriages.Love or arranged marriages is still a debatable topic in society isn’t it? People still debate on the issue, which one is better. What should be the basis of the marriage love or social norms? We are still confused about these issues. Education and media played a vital role in changing the perception of people’s mind. As people started thinking beyond the social customs and traditions of arranged marriages. They realized that they have the right to choose their life partner without any kind of social pressure. It is after all their life. They can decide without having to rely on parents, relatives and matchmakers. This change in the mental set up of the people gave birth to love marriages. Now people are open to love marriages. It is no more forbidden in the society. In our country we are having both love and arranged marriages. If we start comparing love and arranged marriages we will see that both has certain pros and cons. But the common factor in both the concept is physical attraction. When a man and a woman go out on their first date physical attraction is the deciding factor. Same in case of arranged marriage where the relation starts only after the girl or boy likes each other. But there are certain things, which are found in love marriages and not in arranged. Like spending time together and getting to know each other. Because when you have decided to spend the life together it is important you know the person. There should be metal compatibility and understanding among both of you. And this happens when you spend time together. On this people may argue that even after knowing each other for so long than why people get divorced after marriage. It is because when two people are in love they are at their best to impress each other. They behave, they talk and they wear what the other person likes. But it is after marriage that you get to know the real person. There are couples who are still discovering each other even after twenty years of their marriage. This is the actual beauty of a relationship where everyday you discover a new thing about your partner.

So whether it is love or arranged ultimately it is up to the individual to decide, which one to go for. Love or arranged both is based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern. So it's not just about initial love and attraction it needs a lot of dedication and effort to sustain a marriage. So there is nothing like an ideal marriage it's all about the way you perceive your marriage. After all you should be happy with your life partner irrespective of love or arranged marriage rite?Sooooooooooooo what are you views?

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm i think it really depends on person to person...well love marriage wud be bit more FUN i guess than arrange :) .You wont like feel odd or anything on ur honeymoon :D he he

Cheers
Dino

11:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wld prefer to luv and get married. Marriage is abt understanding ur life partner and sharing the life. u get a good opportunity to get to knw ur life partner before marriage. As WRL- DINO said wld be able to overcome the odds.

12:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The best option depends on the specific people but a full survey should be done to settle the debate once and for all by deciding the success of both forms of marriage.

12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The best option depends on the specific people but a full survey should be done to settle the debate once and for all by deciding the success of both forms of marriage.

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well most of the time most think that love marriges are the real thing cause they think u wud get to know the person really well before marriage n also make sure that he or she is the ONE. but haven't u all experienced that with time things just chage drastically cause u may be in love head over heals at first but later on like few year most couples tend get mood swing n all n then it's just all arguments n bla bla.so it's just one huge complicated issue, wut i think is love marriage or arranged marriage both ppl should have patients n understanding till death do us apart for that to be a happy one. not just the first few years.

9:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

''Irresepective of any kind whther love or arranged marriage is a big disgust and useless piece of shit !'' this is wots in parents mind these days....
hmm ....pretty interesting thing u gurlz have said ovr here ...
Neither here nor there .... But somewhere in the middle .........

Life In Relationships shud make an interesting Post ...

BUT

but with my experinces i can only say that...
Arranged marriage and love marriage both are sides of a single coin... it sucks .... i say this bcoz i ve SEEN ppl in love then got married to their love, had a daughter and seen that love getting spoiled and ransacked for 10 years then got separated.. thn again fall in love with an ex and lover again ( its the same person) and we prefer to advocate a "live-in" relationship( no compulsion only impulsion) and trust me this is better, much much better then marriage( either arranged or love)...i go for LOVE RELATIONSHIPS...

4:34 AM  
Blogger Titania said...

A marriage based on love is sometimes already so difficult to keep with the years when routine starts to play the main role...
Well, at least this is my western way of seeing things... Of course it depends on the people :)

I like your blog!
Best greetings!!

6:41 AM  
Blogger Titania said...

Hello jinie
Thanks for visiting my blog :)

Pity you don't understand my language... it's Portuguese. I have a translator into English there, but it only translates the words and not the ideas (and not even all the words).
Anyway I hope you've liked the pictures and the music :))

Bye from Portugal!

9:53 PM  
Blogger Senthu VJ said...

love one! but with parents smiles so.what do u say ?

6:24 PM  

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